Screenwriting Camp with Carolyn Cohagan 2018
Girls With Pens offered its first ever screenwriting camp this year. It was a small but very passionate group. They collaborated on a script together, creating a fantasy story full of fascinating characters and adventure. I hope they get together one day to finish it. Until then, I present "DARE," by Delta Boyer, Milla Press, and Sasha Konradi:
1. EXT. NEAR THE LAKE
EILEEN DARE sits on a damp rock near an old cave she has strawberry blonde wavy hair hanging off her back. Eileen is short compared to her family. She has piercing green eyes and has freckles splashed around her long nose. Eileen is wearing long jeans, an old green shirt and combat boots.
HUGO ARULA peers around the corner, a mysterious smile pasted to his face, Eileen grins when she sees him and repositions her body toward him. Hugo has greasy brown hair laying flat on his head. He has ordinary brown eyes and a wide smile.
Where have you been?
We were supposed to meet an hour ago!
Hugo grins wider and grabs a folded up piece of paper out of his back pocket.
What did you do, Hugo? Hugo!
Oh calm down, nothing terrible.
Then why haven't you shown me
the piece of paper. What's on it?
Only the most recent test
results for our science test.
What is wrong with you? You mean
you stole the paper from Ms. Gold?
Uhh! you are just too much of
a goody two-shoes to really understand. I mean let's be
honest. You would never take a
risk like going into the classroom and stealing this.
I would too. What are you even talking about?
Eileen stands up quickly and grab the paper.
Eileen tears the paper up slowly and throws the remains of the paper into the distance. She sits back down and crosses her arms looking directly at Hugo's appalled face.
What have you . . . ? I mean first
of all this doesn't prove anything
because I bet Ms. Gold has a copy
of it on a computer and furthermore
what were you trying to accomplish
just now? I didn't even get a good
look at the results.
I am only doing what a
goody-two-shoes would do.
Eileen shrugs and walks closer to Hugo.
You really want to prove you're
not a goody two-shoes?
Eileen nods and gives a stern look.
Bring it on!
Hugo smiles and points to the lake nearby. A sign that read do not swim is posted on it in big red letters. Eileen follows Hugo's gaze and steps back, a shocked expression on her face.
Are you kidding me?
You said you wanted to prove it.
Plus it is already May; it won't
be frozen over for months.
Fine! I'll do it.
Eileen takes off her jacket and walks closer to the lake looking around suspiciously. Hugo runs over to her and puts a hand on her shoulder.
Wait, you're actually going to do it?
You told me there isn't anything to
worry about. Right?
Hugo nods and nudges her forward. Eileen runs to the lake, looks back and crosses her fingers to the side of her hip. She jumps in.
Suddenly she gets sucked in under the water before she can even let out a scream. She now is in a tunnel formed by moving clouds circling around every moment. The force pushing her abruptly posits. She is now stuck in a puddle of water pulling her down at every moment. She is pushed up another tunnel. This one made of stone instead of cloud.
She pops out of beautifully stone-carved well. Her surroundings are more peculiar and different than England. She is standing in the center of a willow tree covered by leaves. The air around her is darker. The well Eileen came out of stands in the center of the tree. Eileen walks closer to the edge of the tree and pushes open the woven leaves. Snowflakes fall on her face and she immediately leaves her sheltering tree.
She is now in the forest where thick woods rest. She notices a nearby building. She runs toward it, steps onto the polished stone footsteps and twists the doorknob open.
2. INT. BUILDING-DAY
Eileen turns the door knob to the first building she sees. The inside is entirely white, including white furniture. There is a hallway filled with doors.
She walks towards one red door at the end of the hallway. Muffled voices can be heard yelling at each other, their words incomprehensible.
As Eileen tries to listen in, the door slams wide open. A tall person wearing fancy clothing and shaggy blue hair comes out of the room, slamming the door behind them. They turn to Eileen with a shocked expression.
ALEX (harsh whisper)
What are you doing here?!
It was the first building I saw!
Where am I?
How did you get here?
Eileen opens her mouth for a beat before Alex interrupts.
Wait. It's too dangerous to tell me
here. Follow me.
Eileen nods hesitantly. ALEX leads her out of the hall and up a flight of stairs, into another room. The interior is all blue, and a complete mess. It looks like a bedroom.
3. INT. ALEX’S ROOM-DAY
Okay let me introduce myself.
(He holds out their hand)My
name is Alex. Alex Slate.
EILEEN (Hesitantly shaking hand.)
Hello Alex . . .
My name is Eileen Dare.
Hi Eileen. (Let's go of hand.)
So you have no idea where we are right now?
I was just with my friend, and he told me to jump into a river.
Next thing I'm . . . here.
ALEX (Tilts head to the side.)
Yeah? He's my friend, what's
wrong with that?
Well, call me crazy, I just don't
think a friend would force a
friend to jump into a river.
EILEEN (looks at her feet.)
You have a point . . .
I guess that's pretty bad.
Forget him. I have to tell you
where you are.
He walks over to window, Eileen following.
See this? This is Asparya.
Asparya has nice buildings, fields of flowers, and forests.
He closes the blinds.
Maybe for an outsider. See, Asparya
is a terrible place. We, the citizens,
have to believe the same things, take
our assigned roles, and do whatever
the king says. I'm the king's child.
We are in his Palace.
Eileen remains silent with a shocked expression.
So not only do I have to be the
perfect brainless citizen, but I
have to be the king's perfect son.
I don't even want to be a son!
You'd rather be a daughter?
ALEX (Shakes head no)
Not that either, but that's not
important right now. (They put their
hands on Eileen’s shoulder). You came from another world, right?
I believe so.
(speaking boldly, grinning widely) I knew these were something else! (deep breath, quieter tone)
Now we have to get you back.
Of course we do! There is no
way I'm staying here.
Well, another thing about Asparya
is that we're at war. The other kingdom’s called Thalana.
Great, any more reasons that
we're screwed you want to
get out of the way?
Hey, calm down. What I'm saying
is that I know the ins-and-outs of Asparya, but I don't know how to travel to this other world. So, maybe to get you home, we need to get
So what you're saying is, you want
totake me from one dictatorship to the kingdom at war with it?
Do you have any other options?
(bites lip) I only want to get home.
If you want to get to your world,
Thalana’s our best bet.
(remains silent for a beat) If I
go with you, you have to swear
you'll get me home.
I swear on my life.
Now are you ready to go?
Great! Let's get going then.
4. EXT. FOREST-DAY
Alex and Eileen Are walking into a forest bordering Asparya and Thalana. Pine, willow, and oak trees surround them. Gunshots can be heard. Alex turns to see Hugo for a beat.
Eileen, we should speed up a bit.
Why is that?
(Stuttering.) Um . . . War stuff!
Soldiers are getting closer.
I can't have them see you.
They start walking faster.
So, tell me about
this “friend” of yours.
Hugo? He has glasses, brown hair . . .
Wait, why do you need to know?
Well I'm curious about the
leader of this place. And the war. How did this all happen?
ALEX (grim tone)
My dad. Marcus Slate. (He sighs).
He learned that Thalana had information he didn't, and Thalana didn't share. My father is a 3 year old who demands he get whatever he wants. Except he has guns.
I'm sure he isn't literally.
(Small laugh) No, he's 48.
Eileen looks at Alex with a small smile on her face.
Alex turns to Eileen and smiles. Their expression goes grim as they notice a bullet flying towards Eileen. They pull Eileen towards themselves, causing the bullet not to hit Eileen.
(Visibly flustered, pulls away.)
What was that about?
A bullet almost hit you.
Why would someone shoot at me?
We are getting closer to Thalana.
A soldier in Thalana nearly spots the two. Alex pulls Eileen into a bush.
(whispering.) Okay. We're
going to crawl through these bushes.
We can't have any Thalannians notice us until we’re in.
5.EXT. ENTRANCE TO THALANA-DAY
Eileen Walks up to the entrance of Thalana, ready to step in. Alex runs up to Eileen and pulls her back, grabbing her shoulder.
What is it? Did you hear something?
Alex looks around frantically and quickly grabs a pebble a few feet away from the two. He grips it tighter, making his veins pop out and throws it in the air. As the pebble flies it hits an invisible tall shield. A pink shimmer goes around all of the Thalana as the shield pushes the pebble back to Alex's hand.
It's a forcefield guarding
all of the Thalana.
Then how can we get in?
It isn't strong enough to keep
us out. It only deflects bullets.
Eileen nods and slowly walks in, cautious of everything going around her. Alex follows her as he looks around for anything suspicious.
6. EXT. THALANA-DAY
They both walk into a land their expressions only show a mixture of confusion and shock.
Is this place actually real?
As real as the two of us. I've
never actually gone past the forcefield. It's illegal actually.
A siren alarm blares immediately as they step into Thalana. Alex looks at her and gives her a stern look as he grabs her wrist.
They're here for me. You have
to get out of here!
Before Eileen can even let out a word, two guards pop out from behind bushes. Both of them wearing blue and red military uniforms. They casually pull out to modern guns with a glass case surrounding it. A shot is fired as Eileen falls to her knees, paralyzed. the camera changes to Eileen’s POV and loses focus. Everything goes black.
7. INT. CLOSED ROOM-DAY
Eileen wakes up in a closed room with no windows and a single door in a corner. Eileen turns around to spot a man with a fancier uniform than the previous two guards. She jumps up and rubs the back of her head, looking in pain.
Where am I? Where is Alex and
who are you?
I'm the leader of Thalana, which is
where you are currently. Your friend
has been sentenced to jail for
trespassing and spying on our land.
Well what about me?
You didn't know any better. Plus,
we met your old friend Hugo.
Eileen jumps up in surprise, her eyes running around wildly.
You've seen Hugo? He came for me?
Yes he did indeed. We made a deal
with him. All he asked for in return
is to keep you safe.
Eileen smiles slightly and relaxes her shoulders.
Where is he?
Can I see Alex, just for a second?
No. I'm afraid not.
Eileen looks around and spots a key hanging off the King’s hip. She makes a run for it and snatches the key from King David. King David screams.
You foolish girl!
Eileen opens the door and runs straight through the crowd of soldiers. A few of the guards begin chasing after her. She swerves left and falls upon a jail cell covered in glass.
What are you doing?!
Saving your life.
She jams the key into the lock and twists the key around. She swings the door open and grabs Alex’S arm. Eileen turns around to see a soldier pointing a gun at Alex.
A soldier shoots Alex in the chest. Alex collapses next to Eileen. She kneels next to them.