Comedy Writing with Wendi Aarons Session Two - August 3-7
We were busy this week, learning about all types of humor and writing various jokes, sketches, advertisements, and puns. We talked a lot about parody and watched an SNL clip of “The Office in Japan.” The kids were focused, funny, and really keyed into what’s funny. - Wendi Aarons
Top 8 Rejected Disney Movies 8. The Life and Love of Super Mario 7. Cinderella and Her Old Age 6. The Little Mermaid Can’t Breathe Underwater 5. The Aristocats Get Chased by Dogs 4. What Really Happened to Robin Hood 3. High School Musical The Sequel: Retirement Home Musical 2. The Princess and the Worm 1. The Lion King Explained: Why Scar Did It Alternate Names A cat = a flea infested food-needing hairball A sandwich = the animal choker A car = stuffy, crumb infested vehicle Swimming = trying not to look stupid while flailing my arms everywhere Pizza = Sloppy masterpiece that Hawaii decided to ruin Shopping = Wandering around endlessly, telling people they look fine and to move along so we can somehow find the exit
Subaru’s New Motto
Isabella sat down on her couch to watch television. She turned on the television and started watching her favorite show. Suddenly, a commercial interrupted her show. Isabella wanted to scream and tear her hair out. It was getting to the good part! The commercial advertised Subaru. Isabella groused and grumbled and glared as the commercial went on. She expected them to say: “Subaru. We’re here for good”, but instead, they said: “Subaru. We are here for good and good only. If it gets bad, we’ll pack up and leave.”
The No Eyed Deer
Mason and Jack were walking through the forest, when suddenly, they came upon a deer with no eyes. “I wonder what you call that,” Jack wondered aloud. “No eyed deer,” Mason replied. And he really had no idea. The next day, they were walking through the forest again. Again, they saw a deer with no eyes, but this time, it didn’t have any legs either. “I wonder what you call that,” Jack wondered aloud. “Still. No eyed deer,” Mason said. And still, he really had no idea.
Excuses not to go to school:
1. Pretend to have covid
2. Talk about how your friend has COVID
3. Tell your parents you need a therapy dog
4. Get a therapy dog.
5. Your therapy dog has COVID
6. You can’t see through your long shaggy hair
7. You have high standards and the thermometers don’t meet your expectations
8. Masks give you rashes
9. I don’t need friends I just need minecraft
10. Why go to school I have google.
Parody of Bohemian Rhapsody
Mommaaa, I just wore jeans
It was 104 outside, I picked a leaf and it died
Mommaaa, I don’t want to fry
But now I made a friend and he’s really shy
Momma, woo oh oh oh
I don’t want to fry
I sometimes wish I never wore long sleeves
but my yaaaard is dead leaves
And nothing really matters, to me
Me: I’m about to play with yu.
Other: No, you aren’t.
Me: No, I’m playing with yu.
Other: I’m not playing with you, how can you play with me?
Me: I’m battling yu.
Other: No, you can’t!
Me: Just beat yu!
Other: You can’t beat me without me playing you.
Me: Now I’m going to play with someone.
Other: What’s their name?
Other: Tell me the name!
Me: It’s SOMEONE!
Other: Okay…I’m battling yu!
Me: How can you battle me?!
Other: No, I’m battling yu.
Me: I know, but it doesn’t work like that!
Other: What’s your username?
Me: I don’t know.
Other: You just checked!
Me: I know I did.
Other: Then what’s your user name?
Me: I don’t know.
Other: I’ve given up.
M: I used to play basketball and he made all the shots.
O: Who is he?
M: He! He made all the shots.
M: But then they kept blocking it
O: Who is they? What are you talking about?
M: They! They kept blocking it.
M: I don’t know who was dribbling across the court.
O: So his name is “I Don’t Know Who”?
M: No, I don’t know who was dribbling across the court.
O: I don’t know at this point.
Q: How do you get a squirrel to like you?
A: Tell it a-corny joke
Top 10 rejected Disney movies:
10. Lee: a brave leaf in fall
9. Shimmer: The harrowing tales of a lonely streetlamp
8. Any more Artemis Fowl movies
7. Greg: a Disney prince with back problems
6. Rapunzel but there’s no more hair
5. Bambi 8: The hunters’ perspective
4. Snow white and the 8th dwarf Lazy
3. Air Buds 5, revenge of the cats
2. Cinderella: an orthopedic story
1. Marley and Me 2
BREAKING NEWS: Lady Gaga donates meat dress to local stray dogs.